As our family has recently expanded, so have our to-do lists.  And with the added activities with the baby, there’s less time available to do the to-do’s on our list.  One day this week, while hashing out the to-do’s for the next day, we started to feel overwhelmed at the sheer length of the list.  But as I looked a little closer at the list, I realized half of it was stuff we want to do, but it really wasn’t all that urgent.  Our “deadlines” for getting it done were self-imposed, which means we could either get it done or choose to simply move it to another date.  It wasn’t the tasks that caused us stress, but the self-imposed deadlines that gave us the feeling that we should be stressed.  I don’t think we are alone in this.  Stress is real even when the threat isn’t. The consequences of stress – illness, poor communication, irritability – are real, even when the source of the stress can be eliminated by putting it into perspective.

This week, I want to challenge you to ease up on your self-imposed deadlines.  You may argue that you must complete a project by a set date or time, but to know whether you have a real deadline or self-imposed one, answer these three questions. It may just take the pressure off and allow you to put your to-do list into perspective:

  1. What’s the consequence of missing the deadline?
  2. “I may lose my job.” “It’ll cost me $ X.” “My integrity will come into question.” “Someone could get hurt.” “It’ll require more time later if I don’t take care of this now.” These are real deadlines. But often, giving yourself some leeway will create no real consequence at all. When that is the case, and meeting your self-imposed deadline will leave you drained or stressed, ease your expectations.
  3. Does missing the deadline negatively impact others?
  4. It isn’t always about us and our needs. There are many times when our commitments impact someone else’s ability to get what they need. Keep your promises. But when circumstances are extraordinary, reach out, explain the circumstances and find out if there is any flexibility.
  5. Does meeting the deadline mean neglecting a higher priority?
  6. The danger of having too much on your to-do list is that you can begin to lose sight of what actually matters most. With everything lumped into one list, it is tempting to make all things equal. They are not. If you spend too much time on low priorities, there will be little left for the people and things that matter most.

My challenge to you:
Look at your to-do list and make sure your self-imposed deadlines give you the time and space to be peacefully productive. If the stress is overwhelming, be flexible and make adjustments.

Journal about it:
Ask these questions of the stress-inducing items on your to-do list:  What is the consequence of missing the deadline? Does the deadline impact others? Does meeting the deadline mean neglecting higher priorities? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!