We all know that goals are important, but how do you make your goals stick? Research about goal setting says that your goals need to be rooted in what you really value. In order to persevere in the face of disappointments and obstacles, it needs to be centered on what really matters to you. There are two powerful questions you can ask to help you ensure your goal is one you will remain motivated to persist towards. Here is the first question:
What will reaching your goal give you that you don’t have right now?
Often, we look at goals in terms of the external benefits we’ll get from reaching them. External benefits, such as money or recognition, can be a motivator, but what’s even more powerful is intrinsic motivation, such as passion and meaning. When your goal lines up directly with your values and holds special meaning, you are less likely to give up when the journey gets difficult. You might get frustrated, but you keep your eye on the goal.
Whether your goal gives you more time with the people who matter, or the satisfaction of knowing you are fulfilling your purpose, intrinsic motivation naturally pulls you forward. There’s a second question to ask once you have clarity about your intrinsic motivation:
Why does this motivator matter to me?
For example, why does it matter to spend more time with my children, or friends, or spouse? Perhaps it is because you realize more than ever how quickly time passes, and you want to use it wisely and not regret it. Why does it matter that you fulfill your purpose? Perhaps it is because you are no longer willing to live an inauthentic life.
Too often, we set goals because other people think we should set them or others have set them for us, and we just follow along. But if you are going to be authentically happy, you’ve got to understand why the goal matters to YOU. And, you must be clear about how life will be better or different in a meaningful way because you have reached the goal.
If you can’t identify a satisfying answer to those two questions, then perhaps it is time to drop the goal. Create a new one that holds meaning and really matters to you. That’s the goal you will stick with until you get to your finish line – and find fulfillment when you get there.
