In the 17 years that I have been a writer, speaker and coach helping others be successful and live more fulfilling lives, there is a piece of the success puzzle I’ve noticed gets overlooked far too often. By the time I hear the story from a reader or audience member, client or coaching student, it sounds something like this:
“I feel like I’m doing all the right things. Why am I not seeing the results I had hoped for?”
If you’ve ever asked this question, you know it is deeply disheartening and frustrating. When in spite of having the requisite talent and putting forth sustained effort, you haven’t reached the level of success you hoped for, it can be bewildering. If you’ve been there, you’re certainly not alone. It is the reason I felt compelled to write Successful Women Speak Differently. You can become discouraged, get bitter or become jealous of those who don’t have as much talent, but seem to have passed you by on the success journey. It can even be tempting to give up.
Rather than give up though, you can press in. If you feel like you’ve got all the pieces to the puzzle, but it just isn’t coming together, there is an opportunity in front of you. It is the opportunity to find the missing piece. In my work with thousands of people around the United States and ten foreign countries, I have discovered that the missing piece goes by many names: Communication. Influence. Presence. Confidence. Connection.
I like to call it your voice. It encompasses everything you communicate to yourself and about yourself. Your voice can sabotage the best talent and catapult an average talent to the top. It can speak to the heart of the man who is authentically right for you, and it can protect your heart by serving as a bold shield from one who would do you harm.
So in addition to honing your talent, following your passion, and having the discipline to put forth the effort that’s required to succeed, don’t forget the missing piece. Pay attention to how you show up in the world. Do people feel they can trust you? Does your presence cause them to lean in or move away? Do your words inspire or discourage, build bridges or burn them? Does your appearance send a message that is consistent with your goals?
Finally breaking through to the higher level of success your heart desires may feel elusive, but it isn’t. It begins by embracing the missing piece of the puzzle and making a decision to show up more fully and vibrantly in the world. The most successful people are often not the most talented, the most gifted, or even the most experienced. What they have is a knack for communicating that opens doors and gives them influence. If you miss this one vital fact, you can find yourself stuck just beneath a glass ceiling of your own potential, frustrated and wondering why you haven’t broken through.
Effective or not, we all communicate something to the world. The bigger question is this: Is what you’re communicating getting you the success you most deeply desire?
My challenge to you this week:
Make a decision to acknowledge the missing piece. Success isn’t just about talent and effort, but your ability to connect and communicate in a way that is aligned with your highest goals.
Journaling assignment:
In what area(s) of your life do you feel you’ve done all the right things, yet the results don’t show for it? How might enhancing your communication (speaking up, speaking less, asking powerful questions, listening better, personal appearance, building trust) improve your chances for success?
Successful Women Speak Differently is officially out this Tuesday! If you buy the book, you get a FREE class with me – live, today (Sunday, October 30th) at 4:00 pm Eastern. Get the details here: www.speakdifferently.com. (After Sunday, I still have a special, free gift for you, so visit www.speakdifferently.com even if you read this after the live class!)
