Lately, we’ve been talking about getting to where we want to be. And without question, we’ll have to take people with us along the way. But how do we build a connection in the early stages? A simple starting part is paying a genuine compliment.

While some struggle with receiving a compliment, others find it hard to give a compliment.
It will seem fake.
It can be awkward.
What do I say to them? 

Have you ever thought about why some compliments feel so warm while others come off disingenuous? Often the disconnect is in the delivery. Here are 4 tips for giving a great compliment.

Be specific 

When you’re paying a compliment, pay attention to the details. Go deeper. Notice a person’s strengths and acknowledge them. It’s the difference between ‘great job with the presentation today’ and ‘your presentation was persuasive and eye-opening. I appreciated the section on talent retention.’

Acknowledge character 

Shed light on the characteristics it took for the person to accomplish their recent goal. ‘I’m always in awe of your relentless work ethic and dedication to the team.’ 

Be authentic 

You may be eager to cultivate a relationship, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of authenticity. Don’t lie or pretend to be amazed if you weren’t all that impressed. Instead, ask yourself what it is about this person you admire or would like to emulate. 

 Express appreciation about the thing you’re complimenting them on 

A key to a great complement? Appreciation. Express gratitude toward the characteristics or accomplishments they possess. ‘Your generosity helped the team this week – thank you!’


This is just one of the many topics I go into in my book, Life Coaching for Successful Women. If you’ve thought about coaching or just building your skills as a mom or friend, consider checking out our coach training intensive.