Thinking about getting engaged? Daydreaming about saying “I do”? There are lots of questions to ask before you make a lifelong commitment, but here are three critical ones. Before you say “I do” to a potential spouse, make sure you can say “I do” to these…
- If this person never changed, could you be content with him or her for the rest of your life?
You don’t marry the person your mate could potentially become. You marry the person that he or she is. Be brutally honest about his or her flaws (keeping in mind that you have them too!) Then be honest with yourself. Could you live with those flaws and faults if they never changed? Most people don’t change much, so don’t count on it for your happiness
- Do you have a shared vision with your mate of your life together?
If you’re going to spend the rest of your journey through life with someone, you’d better make sure you both want to journey to the same place. Do you share faith, friendships, and your dreams for the future? Without a shared vision, you will eventually bump up against some serious issues. In order to make it work, one of you may have to give up who you are in order to keep the relationship. The better solution would be to find the right mate in the first place – one with whom you can share in a vision that brings joy, peace, and purpose to you as a couple.
- Do you love their character more than their career (or looks or money)?
Our culture tends to put more emphasis on what a person does for a living than who they are in character. Don’t get caught up in the trap. Pay attention to your mate’s everyday habits – does she lie? Does he do what he says he will when he says he will? Is she responsible? How does he treat his family? Is she respectful toward you, even when you disagree? Does he have your back?
If you say “I do” to these three questions, you’re on the right track. If not, slow down so you can make a wise decision about what you really want in a spouse. Ask yourself the hard questions now and you could save yourself heartache later.